بقلم الشيخ عبدالعزيز رجب

عضو الاتحاد العالمي لعلماء المسلمين

الحمد لله، والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله، صلى الله عليه وعلى آله وصحبه ومن والاه وبعد.

أولادنا هبة الله لنا، وهم بضعة منا، وثمرة الفؤاد، وفلذات الأكباد، ومعقد الآمال، وأحلامنا التي لم تحقق بعد، ولا يوجد إنسان يتمنى أن يكون هناك شخص أفضل منه كما يتمنى الآباء لأبنائهم.

فهم قرة أعيننا ، كما جاء في دعاء الصالحين }رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا{. [الفرقان:74]

وهم زينة الحياة الدنيا، كما قال الله-عز وجل-: }الْمَالُ وَالْبَنُونَ زِينَةُ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا وَالْبَاقِيَاتُ الصَّالِحَاتُ خَيْرٌ عِندَ رَبِّكَ ثَوَاباً وَخَيْرٌ أَمَلاً{. [الكهف:46].

وإنما أولاَدُنَا بَينَنا * * * أْكبَادُنَا تَمِشيَ على الأْرِض

لَوَ هبَّت الِّريُحَ على بَعِضِهْم * * * لاَمتَنَعَت عْينيِ مَن اْلغَمِض

ونحن مسئولون أمام الله –عز وجل- يوم القيامة عن الأولاد، كما روي عن عبدالله بن عمر –رضي الله عنهما– عن النبي –صلى الله عليه وسلم- قال : « كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ فَمَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ» . متفق عليه.

وعن أنس –رضي الله عنه–عن النبي –صلى الله عليه وسلم– قال: «إنّ اللَّهَ تَعَالَى سائِلٌ كلَّ راعٍ عَمّا اسْتَرْعاهُ أحَفِظَ ذلِكَ أمْ ضَيَّعَهُ؟ حَتّى يَسأَلَ الرَّجُلَ عنْ أهْلِ بَيْتِهِ».أخرجه: النسائي، وابن حبان، وصححه الترمذي.

وعَن أبي هُرَيْرَة –رضي الله عنه– عن النبي –صلى الله عليه وسلم– قال : «مَا مِنْ مَوْلُودٍ إِلاَّ يُولَدُ عَلَى الْفِطْرَةِ فَأَبَوَاهُ يُهَوِّدَانِهِ أَوْ يُنَصِّرَانِهِ أَوْ يُمَجِّسَانِهِ كَمَا تُنْتَجُ الْبَهيِمَةُ بَهِيمَةً جَمْعَاءَ هَلْ تُحِسُّونَ فِيهَا مِنْ جَدْعَاءَ». متفق عليه.

وعن عمرو بن سعيد بن العاص –رضي الله عنهما– عن النبي –صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: «مَا نَحَلَ وَالِدٌ وَلَدَهُ أَفْضَلَ مِنْ أَدَبٍ حسن» . أخرجه: البخاري في التاريخ الكبير، والبيهقي، والحاكم وقال: صحيح الإسناد.

وهم ذخر لنا في الدنيا والآخرة: كما جاء عن أبى هريرة –رضي الله عنه– عن النبي –صلى الله عليه وسلم– قال: «إذا مات الإنسانُ انقطع عملُه إلا من ثلاثةٍ إلا من صدقةٍ جاريةٍ أو علمٍ يُنْتَفَعُ به أو ولدٍ صالحٍ يدعو له» .أخرجه: البخاري في الأدب المفرد، ومسلم، والترمذي وقال: حسن صحيح.

وعدم الاهتمام بتربية الأبناء يؤدي إلى الندم وقت لا ينفع الندم، كما جاء في الأثر: "عَاتب بَعضهم وَلَده على العقوق فَقَالَ يَا أَبَت إِنَّك عققتني صَغِيرا فعققتك كَبِيرا وأضعتني وليدا فأضعتك شَيخا". (تحفة المولود/ابن القيم: 229)

وإذا أردنا أن نعرف كيف نربي أولادنا تربية صحيحة، ونقوم بمسئوليتنا أمام الله –تبارك وتعالى- فلا بد أن نعرف بداية سمات وخصائص الأولاد في مرحلة التكوين، حتى نعرف كيف نستثمرها ونستفيد منها مثل: شدة التقليد والنمو اللغوي السريع، والتشجيع، والتفكير الخيالي، والذاكرة الحادة الفولاذية.

ثم لا بد من توفير كل حاجيات الطفل الأساسية، من الغذاء والملبس والمسكن المناسب، والوقاية والعلاج والنوم واللعب والمرح، والحب والأمن والحرية.

ثم بعد ذلك نستخدم أساليب التربية الصحيحة مثل الثواب والعقاب والقدوة، والقصص والموقف والاستفادة من المناسبة، والعادات الطيبة، والملاحظة المستمرة في كل الجوانب من الجوانب الإيمانية والأخلاقية، والنفسية الروحية، والعلمية والعقلية، والاجتماعية والترتيب والنظافة.

ويمكن توجيهه من خلال قصص الصحابة والصالحين، وما تربى عليه ذلك الجيل القرآني الفريد، فهذا هو النبي -صلى الله عليه وسلم– وهو يصحح الأخطاء، فيعلم عمر بن أبي سلمى –رضي الله عنه- آداب الطعام فيقول: « يَا غُلاَمُ! سَمِّ الله وَكُلْ بِيَمِينِكَ وَكُلْ مِمَّا يَلِيكَ» . متفق عليه.

ويوصى بالعدل بين الأبناء كما جاء عَن النعْمان بن بَشيرٍ –رضي الله عنه– عن النبي –صلى الله عليه وسلم– قال: «اتَّقُوا الله واعدِلُوا بَيْنَ أوْلادكُمْ كَمَا تُحِبُّونَ أنْ يَبَرُّوكُمْ». متفق عليه.

وهذا لقمان الحكيم يربي ولده ويوصيه فيقول له: }يَا بُنَيَّ أَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَانْهَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ وَاصْبِرْ عَلَى مَا أَصَابَكَ إِنَّ ذَلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ (17) وَلَا تُصَعِّرْ خَدَّكَ لِلنَّاسِ وَلَا تَمْشِ فِي الْأَرْضِ مَرَحًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُورٍ (18) وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِنْ صَوْتِكَ إِنَّ أَنْكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ (19) {. [الفرقان]

ثم تجنب أساليب التربية الخاطئة، مثل التسلط والقسوة، والحماية الزائدة، والتفرقة في المعاملة، والإهمال والتدليل.

ثم نغرز في أبنائنا صفاتٍ مهمة، كأن يكون سليم العقيدة، وصحيح العبادة، وحسن الخلق، والبعد عن الأخلاق السيئة، وسعة الثقافة، وقوة الجسد، والتنظيم والاستفادة من الوقت، ومساعدة الآخرين.

بهذا يخرج لنا جيلا مسلما مؤمنا فريدا تقر به أعيننا، ويكونون سندا لنا، نافعين لنا ولدينهم، ولأوطانهم وللإنسانية كلها، نباهي بهم الأمم في الدنيا والآخرة.

والحمد لله رب العالمين

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Parents' Responsibilities Towards their Children

By: Sheikh Abdelaziz Ragab

All praise is due to Allah alone, and prayer and peace be upon the final Messenger of Allah and his followers.

The Almighty Allah bestowed our children for us. They are a part of us. We hold great expectations from them which will be achieved in the future. They are the only people whom a man wishes to be more successful than him. They are the source of comfort for good people { 74:5 And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun}.

They are the adornment of the life of this world {18:46 Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world}.

On the day of Judgement we will be accountable for them in front of The Almighty Allah; Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects."

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Every child is born with a true faith of Islam (i.e. to worship none but Allah Alone) and his parents convert him to Judaism or Christianity or Magianism, as an animal delivers a perfect baby animal. Do you find it mutilated?"

Ayyub bin Musa narrated from his father, from his grandfather, that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "There is no gift that a father gives his son more virtuous than good manners."

Our children are our assets during our lifetime, and in the Hereafter. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "When a man dies, his deeds come to an end, except for three: A continuous charity, knowledge by which people derive benefit, pious son who prays for him."

Not caring for good raising of children, leads to regret at a time when it is too late to do anything about it. It was reported that a father blamed his son for not being a good son. The son answered: O father! you were not a caring father for me when I was young, so, I became not good for you when I grew up. You wasted me when I was young, so I wasted you when you grew old.

If we wanted to know the right way on how to raise our children, and carry out our responsibility in front of The Almighty Allah -the Exalted and Majestic-, we must know the characteristics of the phases of children's' growth, so we know how to benefit and use them, such as:

· Strong imitation, fast linguistic growth, encouraging, imaginary thinking and strong sharp memory.

· Supplying the child with basic needs: food, clothing, suitable housing, protection, medications, sleep, playing, joy, love, security and freedom.

· Then we use the right ways of education; reward, punishment, role model, stories, benefiting from an event, good habits, continuous observation of religious, moral, spiritual, scientific, mental, social and personal orderliness and hygiene.

· We can also guide him through reading to him stories about the Prophet's companions, good people, and the basis of what that unique generation was raised upon. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) corrected behavior mistakes: Narrated Wahb bin Kaisan Abi Nu'aim: A meal was brought to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) while his step-son, `Umar bin Abi Salama was with him.Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to him, "Mention the Name of Allah and eat of the dish what is nearer to you."

· Luqman –the wise- advised his son by saying to him: 25: 17. And on the Day when He will gather them together and that which they worship besides Allah [idols, angels, pious men, saints, 'Iesa (Jesus) - son of Maryam (Mary), etc.]. He will say: "Was it you who misled these My slaves or did they (themselves) stray from the (Right) Path?" 18. They will say: "Glorified be You! It was not for us to take any Auliya' (Protectors, Helpers, etc.) besides You, but You gave them and their fathers comfort till they forgot the warning, and became a lost people (doomed to total loss). 19. Thus they (false gods all deities other than Allah) will give you (polytheists) the lie regarding what you say (that they are gods besides Allah), then you can neither avert (the punishment), nor get help. And whoever among you does wrong (i.e. sets up rivals to Allah), We shall make him taste a great torment.

· We must avoid wrong ways of bringing up children, such as excessive cruelty, overprotection, treating some children more favorably than their brothers, negligence and spoiling.

· Enhancing important qualities such as correct creed and worshiping, good manners, well educated, physical strength, organizing and put time into use and helping others.

Once these instructions are carried out, a new strong faithful generation will emerge, and will be a strong supporter for us and their countries, and for humanity. They will be our pride and joy during lifetime and in the Hereafter.

All praise is due to Allah alone

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Responsabilità dei padri verso i figli

Autore: shikh Abdul Aziz Rajab

Lode ad Allah, pace e benedizioni sul suo Messaggero,e sulla sua famiglia e sui suoi compagni e su coloro che lo seguono.

I nostri figli sono un dono di Allah swt per noi, essi sono la nostra carne, il frutto dell’amore, la delizia dei cuori, il nodo delle nostre speranze, i nostri sogni non ancora realizzati; non c’è uomo che non auguri a suo figlio di essere il migliore degli uomini. Essi sono il conforto dei nostri occhi: disse Allah Taala: ((Signore, dacci conforto nelle nostre spose e nei nostri figli e fai di noi una guida per i timorati))(alFurqan). Essi sono la decorazione della vita terrena come disse Allah az wajal: ((Ricchezze e figli sono l'ornamento di questa vita. Tuttavia le buone tracce che restano, sono, presso Allah, le migliori quanto a ricompensa e a speranza.))(alKahf)

I nostri figli sono in mezzo ai nostri cuori****Camminano sulla terra

Come se li sospingesse il vento****per impedire ai miei occhi di chiudersi

Noi siamo responsabili avanti ad Allah swt circa i ragazzi, nel giorno del giudizio come riporta AbdulAllah bin Omar raa che il Nabiu saw disse: “Ognuno di voi è un guardiano ed è responsabile di chi cura” Anche Anas raa riporta che il Nabiu saw disse:”Allah swt chiederà ad ogni pastore se ha custodito il suo gregge o se lo ha perso. Anche all’uomo chiederà conto della sua famiglia”. Abu Hureira raa riporta che il Nabiu saw disse: “Ogni bambino nasce con una perfetta fede islamica (monoteistica) ma i suoi genitori lo convertono al cristianesimo o all’ebraismo o a Zoroastro, come un animale genera un cucciolo perfetto. Lo troverai mutilato ?” Anche Omar bin Said riporta che il Nabiu saw disse: “Non c’è regalo migliore che un padre possa fare a suo figlio, che insegnargli le buone maniere”. Essi sono il nostro sostegno in questo mondo e nell’altro. Abu Hureira raa riporta che il Nabiu saw disse: “Dopo la morte tutto scompare, tranne tre cose: Una elemosina che dura, una conoscenza che continua e un figlio devoto che prega per te”. Mancare di preoccuparsi per l’educazione di figli porta al rimpianto, quel giorno in cui non serve più il rimpianto.

Se vogliamo sapere come educare i nostri ragazzi appropriatamente e prenderci la nostra responsabilità verso Allah swt, bisogna che comprendiamo le loro caratteristiche e particolarità nel periodo formativo per poterle indirizzare al meglio. Per esempio: forza dell’imitazione e sviluppo veloce della parola, l’incoraggiamento, la fantasia, la memoria prontissima. Provvediamo a tutti i loro bisogni fondamentali, quanto a cibo, vestiti, alloggio adatto a loro, la protezione la cura il sonno il gioco lo scherzo l’amore la sicurezza e la libertà. Dopo di ciò usiamo i mezzi di sana educazione come il premio e il castigo, l’esempio, i racconti, la posizione, il giovarsi delle occasioni, le buone abitudine, l’osservanza continua di tutti gli aspetti della fede, della morale, dello spirito, del sapere, e della società, e infine l’ordine e la pulizia.. Si può ben dirigere i figli con i racconti dei Compagni del Profeta saw e di altri protagonisti di questo periodo coranico inimitabile. Riporta Omar bin AbiSalma raa che il Nabiu saw gli disse quando era piccolo: “Ragazzo! Menziona il nome di Allah e mangia con la tua mano destra e serviti dal piatto più vicino a te”. Bisogna essere imparziali nei confronti dei figli e non fare preferenze. Riporta Bin Bashir raa che il Nabiu saw disse: “Temete Allah e siate giusti tra i vostri figli come amate che essi vi rispettino”. Nel nobile Corano Luqman parla suo figlio: ((O figlio mio, assolvi all'orazione, raccomanda le buone consuetudini e proibisci il biasimevole e sopporta con pazienza quello che ti succede: questo il comportamento da tenere in ogni impresa. 18. Non voltare la tua guancia dagli uomini e non calpestare la terra con arroganza: in verità Allah non ama il superbo vanaglorioso. 19. Sii modesto nel camminare e abbassa la tua voce: invero la più sgradevole delle voci è quella dell'asino))(Luqman)

Evitiamo anche mezzi di educazione sbagliati come l’autoritarismo e la durezza ma anche la protezione eccessiva, la differenza nel trattamento, il viziarli e il lasciarli a se stessi.

Invece seminiamo nei nostri figli caratteristiche importanti come la fede la devozione la dottrina la morale ed allontaniamoli dai cattivi comportamenti. Come anche è importante la cultura e l’esercizio del corpo e l’aiutare gli altri e l’impiego ordinato del tempo. Con questo uscirà da noi una generazione di musulmani veri credenti, utili a loro stessi alla società e alla religione e alla patria